That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a selection of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans undeniably found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady figures convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for explicit exploits as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.